As I reflect on my work as a coach, parent, self-employed business owner, and volunteer, I am certain that one, key phrase gets me to my goal quicker than any other phrase. It is:
Do It Now (or DIN, as I have affectionately named this "must")!
Do It = Action (not intention)
Now = Immediately (not later)
Of course, DIN, has many benefits:
Free time,
Free conscience,
"White" space or margin (more on the call), and
The development (by repetition) of a new habit.
Come ON! Let's end this quarter with a commitment to more often than not use the phrase, "I must do it now!"
Be encouraged,
Becky
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Week Eleven: I Must...Understand Personality Types
For those of you who have had me as a Life Coach, or those who have followed any of my/our Marriage and Engagement materials/books, Roger and I--for over 2 decades--have always had coachees, parents, spouses, and dating couples take a Personality Test. Why? It makes a difference in how people get along with each other, how well or poorly they communicate, and it is one of the biggest determining factors in a successful marriage!
Personality Matters.
In my book, Keep The Change, we include a 10-page exam to determine if you are Sanguine (Love to Have Fun), Choleric (Love to be in Charge), Melancholy, (Love Details), or Phlegmatic (Love to have Peace). Of course, there is much more "to it," but when you know that each personality type has an equal number of strengths and weaknesses, and no type is "better" than another, you can take "things" less personally, be more patient, and/or make adjustments!
In life, know you main personality type and the types of those you "do life with" is critical to enjoyment in that relationship (and that makes for a better leader, lover, and healer)!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Personality Matters.
In my book, Keep The Change, we include a 10-page exam to determine if you are Sanguine (Love to Have Fun), Choleric (Love to be in Charge), Melancholy, (Love Details), or Phlegmatic (Love to have Peace). Of course, there is much more "to it," but when you know that each personality type has an equal number of strengths and weaknesses, and no type is "better" than another, you can take "things" less personally, be more patient, and/or make adjustments!
In life, know you main personality type and the types of those you "do life with" is critical to enjoyment in that relationship (and that makes for a better leader, lover, and healer)!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Week Ten: I Must...Be Honorable in Private and Public
This, my friends, is a "biggee" in the life of a healthy, American woman. It means that you are the same person in public that you are in private. For me, it took over 5 years as a Christian before I came "face to face" with this concept in light of my reality. I was a 29-year old overweight, yelling mother (in private), jealous of others, easily angered, in debt, unable to master the spiritual disciplines youth worker...need I say more?
II Corinthians 8:12 says, "We are careful to be honorable before the Lord, but we also want everyone else to see that we are honorable."
I realized that my body (fitness levels and compulsions), my attitude and emotions, my parenting and marriage relationships, as well as my spiritual life didn't match--what people thought/saw about me (fun, happy, balanced, mature) wasn't true. To live my life in the "goldfish bowl" -- where others were invited to watch my growth, speak into my life (weaknesses and strengths), and cheer me on when I made progress -- was freeing!
It began with my quiet time. Since EVERY area of my life seemed out-of-control, even though I was a sober Christian in ministry and faithful wife, I started changing the spiritual area of my life FIRST--making a commitment to read and pray for one hour every day. (Most of you know this story.) THAT ONE DISCIPLINE changed the way I did everything! Being honest with God every 24hours allowed/forced/prompted me to be honest with others...and myself!! Immediately, I returned to the fitness routines that I enjoyed as a young woman. I admitted that anger was sin and was especially hurting my son...and started to be on time and complete projects, in addition to journaling/reading the Bible for one hour a day. And that was just the beginning...
Now, 10000+ days later, I'm still growing spiritually, changing for the better, and being encouraged by others to strengthen my weaknesses. How about you?
Be encouraged,
Becky
II Corinthians 8:12 says, "We are careful to be honorable before the Lord, but we also want everyone else to see that we are honorable."
I realized that my body (fitness levels and compulsions), my attitude and emotions, my parenting and marriage relationships, as well as my spiritual life didn't match--what people thought/saw about me (fun, happy, balanced, mature) wasn't true. To live my life in the "goldfish bowl" -- where others were invited to watch my growth, speak into my life (weaknesses and strengths), and cheer me on when I made progress -- was freeing!
It began with my quiet time. Since EVERY area of my life seemed out-of-control, even though I was a sober Christian in ministry and faithful wife, I started changing the spiritual area of my life FIRST--making a commitment to read and pray for one hour every day. (Most of you know this story.) THAT ONE DISCIPLINE changed the way I did everything! Being honest with God every 24hours allowed/forced/prompted me to be honest with others...and myself!! Immediately, I returned to the fitness routines that I enjoyed as a young woman. I admitted that anger was sin and was especially hurting my son...and started to be on time and complete projects, in addition to journaling/reading the Bible for one hour a day. And that was just the beginning...
Now, 10000+ days later, I'm still growing spiritually, changing for the better, and being encouraged by others to strengthen my weaknesses. How about you?
Be encouraged,
Becky
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Week Nine: I Must...Finish The Race
This week, I'd like you to think about the dream in your heart that won't go away.
This week, I'd like you to consider your greatest asset and ask yourself if you have "finished the race," or completed the task that you were meant to complete.
This week, rather than look back and wander what could have been...look forward and ask yourself, "What am I supposed to do?"
This is bigger than a bucket list:) -- it is a "Must Do" list!
Be encouraged,
Becky
This week, I'd like you to consider your greatest asset and ask yourself if you have "finished the race," or completed the task that you were meant to complete.
This week, rather than look back and wander what could have been...look forward and ask yourself, "What am I supposed to do?"
This is bigger than a bucket list:) -- it is a "Must Do" list!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Week Eight: I Won't...Envy!
Numerous times in my life, I have struggled with jealousy or envy. And I've found the very best antidote for envy is to call "it" what "it": is: sin. Yes, I said it.
Envy is sin.
FYI: I did the same thing with anger--no longer calling it a "bad habit" or an unfortunate but acceptable personality trait--calling it sin, made me hate it (and to see the destruction it caused).
Envy separates us from others and God.
Envy steals our joy.
Envy deceives us into feeling sorry for ourselves.
Envy causes us to detour from our path and wish we were on someone else's path.
Envy rationalizes or minimizes the need for us to make a change.
Consider, this week, any areas in which you envy others. Make a list. Then ask yourself how any of the above comments on envy can give you a new perspective on your life and situation. Ask God to forgive you and to renew your thinking.
Post whatever brave comments you have the courage to disclose:)!
Remember our call this week is on Saturday 8/27 am 9:30 am PST.
Be encouraged!
Becky
Envy is sin.
FYI: I did the same thing with anger--no longer calling it a "bad habit" or an unfortunate but acceptable personality trait--calling it sin, made me hate it (and to see the destruction it caused).
Envy separates us from others and God.
Envy steals our joy.
Envy deceives us into feeling sorry for ourselves.
Envy causes us to detour from our path and wish we were on someone else's path.
Envy rationalizes or minimizes the need for us to make a change.
Consider, this week, any areas in which you envy others. Make a list. Then ask yourself how any of the above comments on envy can give you a new perspective on your life and situation. Ask God to forgive you and to renew your thinking.
Post whatever brave comments you have the courage to disclose:)!
Remember our call this week is on Saturday 8/27 am 9:30 am PST.
Be encouraged!
Becky
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Week Seven: I Won't...Give Up!
This week's theme is an anchor in my life. It "keeps me in the game" when I might otherwise stagger, flag, wiggle my way out, minimize or rationalize the weight of a previously made commitment (that was made when I was impassioned).
My "I won't" EVER:) (my add) statements include (taken from Sacred Obsession Devotional 9/21):
*give up praying for those who are either resistant toward God or who need miracles
*get to busy to read the Bible daily
*stop eating healthy and exercising regularly--my stress level depends upon it:)
*shame God's name with my actions or words
*hold a grudge--I will be a forgiving person because that is a non-negotiable trait of a Christian
*drink alcohol because I can't:)
Be encouraged to make your list:),
Becky
My "I won't" EVER:) (my add) statements include (taken from Sacred Obsession Devotional 9/21):
*give up praying for those who are either resistant toward God or who need miracles
*get to busy to read the Bible daily
*stop eating healthy and exercising regularly--my stress level depends upon it:)
*shame God's name with my actions or words
*hold a grudge--I will be a forgiving person because that is a non-negotiable trait of a Christian
*drink alcohol because I can't:)
Be encouraged to make your list:),
Becky
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Week Six: I Won't...Fear!
What a statement!
When we live above our fears, we can overcome two powerful obstacles in the way of fearless (or faith-filled) living:
Procrastination -- This is a tactic many of us fall into due to either (1) our personality trait (such as a sanguine or phlegmatic) or (2) because we have grown up with people who tolerated or enabled this habit! If you are an habitual procrastinator, it is important to ask yourself (at every juncture), "What am I afraid of...?" Answers might include: boredom, loss of friendship, stress, overcommitment. Please share (post) some of your answers to what makes you afraid to do/be/act/say...something!
Paralyzation -- Fear can physically STOP you from doing anything! I suggest that you just "get started," "make a move in the right direction," have a plan that is broken down into steps that achieve your goal...but don't let fear keep you from action!
This week, consider the ramifications of living a fearless life!
Be encouraged,
Becky
When we live above our fears, we can overcome two powerful obstacles in the way of fearless (or faith-filled) living:
Procrastination -- This is a tactic many of us fall into due to either (1) our personality trait (such as a sanguine or phlegmatic) or (2) because we have grown up with people who tolerated or enabled this habit! If you are an habitual procrastinator, it is important to ask yourself (at every juncture), "What am I afraid of...?" Answers might include: boredom, loss of friendship, stress, overcommitment. Please share (post) some of your answers to what makes you afraid to do/be/act/say...something!
Paralyzation -- Fear can physically STOP you from doing anything! I suggest that you just "get started," "make a move in the right direction," have a plan that is broken down into steps that achieve your goal...but don't let fear keep you from action!
This week, consider the ramifications of living a fearless life!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Week Five: I Won't...Worry!
As I considered a "universal" concept for any/every believer, the phrase, "I won't worry," was the first thought that came to mind. Of course, it isn't easy to do...
As a coach, I always look for the alternative to either a bad or destructive habit. I consider "worry" as one of those habits because it steals our hope, confidence, faith, and can even paralyze us from doing anything...much less the right/best thing.
Jesus, in Matthew 6:25-7:34 spoke adamantly about the reasons NOT to worry. In Philippians 4:8, Paul says, "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything."
There you go--the antidote, the alternative to worry is to PRAY. To whom we pray and what we say has the power to escort us into the throne room of the King who answers and hears all prayer.
Be encouraged!
Becky
As a coach, I always look for the alternative to either a bad or destructive habit. I consider "worry" as one of those habits because it steals our hope, confidence, faith, and can even paralyze us from doing anything...much less the right/best thing.
Jesus, in Matthew 6:25-7:34 spoke adamantly about the reasons NOT to worry. In Philippians 4:8, Paul says, "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything."
There you go--the antidote, the alternative to worry is to PRAY. To whom we pray and what we say has the power to escort us into the throne room of the King who answers and hears all prayer.
Be encouraged!
Becky
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Week Four: I WILL...continued!
What has God put on your heart to do? I will...
Again inspired by the leader, Henrietta Mears, I challenge each of us to consider the ways/statements she used to inspire those under her tutelage:
(1) "...goals were never met by happenstance. . .be specific. . . don't trust your memory, nor merely have vague ideas. I wrote down specifics."
(2) "God has a job for every Christian and no one else can fulfill it."
Please consider these statements and post your comments! I look forward to how they inspire you. I will share mine on the call!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Again inspired by the leader, Henrietta Mears, I challenge each of us to consider the ways/statements she used to inspire those under her tutelage:
(2) "God has a job for every Christian and no one else can fulfill it."
Please consider these statements and post your comments! I look forward to how they inspire you. I will share mine on the call!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Week Three: More on...I WILL!
I will. These words indicate resolve, decisiveness; a deliberate choice.
Henrietta Mears, speaker, author, and founder of Forest Home Conference Center as well as Regal/Gospel Light Publishers was truly a woman ahead of her time. But more than her influence upon more than 400 collegians who went into full-time ministry (including Bill Bright and Richard Halverson), she was known for her personal 10 Commandments. Each of her “Commandments” began with the words, “I will …”
Her list of “I will’s” were not only guidelines for mentoring others, but personal mandates for how she wanted to live every day of her life. Here are just a few:
• I will never let anyone think I am disappointed in him. (When I first read this, I could hardly imagine not using the statement, “I’m disappointed …” But since reading her list almost a decade ago, I’ve embraced this one as my own.)
• I will bring Christianity out of the unreal into everyday life. I will show others the practical things they should be doing … the ministrations that the world needs so much—meat for the hungry, drink for the thirsty …
• I will instill a divine discontent into the mind of everyone who can do more than he is doing, not by telling him the pettiness of his life, but by giving him a vision of great things to be done enthusiastically, passionately.
What in this post inspires or challenges you personally? (More on I Won't and I Must in the next few weeks.)
Be encouraged,
Becky
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Week Two: The Quarterly Life
Once a child enters the education system, a parent quickly learns to record (and pay close attention to) all important dates on a family calendar—noting exam weeks, vacation days, sporting events, as well as start and end dates. Every quarter, it seems, from elementary days through college years, kids and parents are confronted with a new set of relationships, responsibilities, courses, and concerns. Most often the new quarter offers a fresh start, which is both exciting and inviting, while the end of a quarter often brings an intense convergence of time and emotion.
The quarterly life, even after school schedules are no longer the rule, is a fabulous rhythm for living that I believe should never be discontinued. It can become a tremendous method for managing your time, fitness routines, as well as your personal, intellectual, and spiritual goals.
I am a fan of the quarterly life.
The quarterly life allows for big (often overwhelming) goals to be divided into small chunks, giving you 90 days to achieve a stated conclusion before moving onto a greater or broader goal. It gives you focus to sustain a strong pace for a manageable amount of time, when in reality, you might have to face a challenge for 90 more weeks or even 90 months.
What will, won’t or must you do for this quarter of your life?
Please post!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Week One: The Meaning of Your Words
I WILL...is a deliberate choice, a determination.
I WON'T...is a contraction of I will not, a decree of refusal; the resolve of ones mind to NOT partake or act upon.
I MUST...a requirement of law, morality, or custom; being compelled by necessity or requirement.
In my life, these statements have lifted me from good intention to accomplishment, from good ideas to achievements, from "I hope to do ____" to "I will do ____." They have kept from going back on my word, causing/forcing me to keep my word. They have given me a purpose and focus to fulfill the dreams of my heart.
Please share your thoughts on the blog about these statements as you currently use them in your life. (You have to identify "where" you are NOW to know "where" you want to go in the future!)
Be encouraged,
Becky
I WON'T...is a contraction of I will not, a decree of refusal; the resolve of ones mind to NOT partake or act upon.
I MUST...a requirement of law, morality, or custom; being compelled by necessity or requirement.
In my life, these statements have lifted me from good intention to accomplishment, from good ideas to achievements, from "I hope to do ____" to "I will do ____." They have kept from going back on my word, causing/forcing me to keep my word. They have given me a purpose and focus to fulfill the dreams of my heart.
Please share your thoughts on the blog about these statements as you currently use them in your life. (You have to identify "where" you are NOW to know "where" you want to go in the future!)
Be encouraged,
Becky
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Let's Begin!
I had to keep the look of Q2 because it was so bright and fresh and encouraging!
I'm excited to lead this Quarter of the Healthy American Woman Online Coaching Series. Really! I can't wait to see how each of us will grow. Please consider setting aside time (and setting a ringer) to listen to the conference call each Wednesday, do your homework (which is usually a blog/journal assignment) and post on the blog. (Probably 20 minutes a week minimum.)
We have a few newbies, a great group of oldies, and me--the oldest:)!
We begin on Wednesday July 6th with calls (noon PST--usually) and the blog will post late Tuesday or early Wednesday with your new theme and assignment.
Let's never lose sight of our goal: to leave a legacy for the next generation as leaders, lovers, and healers!
Be encouraged,
Becky
I'm excited to lead this Quarter of the Healthy American Woman Online Coaching Series. Really! I can't wait to see how each of us will grow. Please consider setting aside time (and setting a ringer) to listen to the conference call each Wednesday, do your homework (which is usually a blog/journal assignment) and post on the blog. (Probably 20 minutes a week minimum.)
We have a few newbies, a great group of oldies, and me--the oldest:)!
We begin on Wednesday July 6th with calls (noon PST--usually) and the blog will post late Tuesday or early Wednesday with your new theme and assignment.
Let's never lose sight of our goal: to leave a legacy for the next generation as leaders, lovers, and healers!
Be encouraged,
Becky
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